


Red behind his eyelids

by DawnAtSky



Category: Homestuck
Genre: And Eridan's the nurse, Car Accidents, Casual Relationship, Comatose, Comatose recovery, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mild Smut, Minor Character Death, Multi, One-Sided Relationship, Other, Sadstuck, for now, half-blind Sollux, mention of suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-16
Updated: 2013-04-25
Packaged: 2017-12-05 12:22:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/723263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DawnAtSky/pseuds/DawnAtSky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been two years. After I had finally given up hope, that voice pulled me back. I was sure I would never seen him awake again. I was wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The day I lost him

Pain shoots through as red fogs the shattered glass window. The highway is littered with red, reflecting the moon with the most sincere glow he’d ever seen. He can barely hear his father, his brother in the backseat whimpering for help, the faint trace of someone on a phone. Someone rushing to help. He tried desperately to move, only to be cut off with a monstrous sob. Was it his own? What the hell was that?

He can’t move, there’s something sharp against his neck, and even more somethings running down, across his skin. Blood? Tears? He couldn’t tell. 

Vision grew dark before the pain seeped out from all of the cuts. Everything went so slowly. Everything slowed to a halt. Before he knew it, the world was dark, and the sounds of his brother begging him to do… something. To stay? To keep his eyes open?  
What is he even saying? Was this…

Was this death?

He begged for an answer that wouldn’t come, he begged in the darkness as everything faded. He begged and begged, and eventually, exhaustion took over. A deep exhaustion he couldn’t even explain logically. This was the end, wasn’t it?  
Goodbye… everyone. 

Kankri… Dad…

Sollux…

 

\- - - 

It’s been two years since Sollux’s life came crashing down. Things were perfect; his best friend (boyfriend) was just heading home from an overseas trip, heading home from the airport. They went to visit family in Korea, namely the Maryam’s. But before he knew it, some drunken bastard hit their car home.  
Head on. 

Sollux was in another car, with his cousin no less, after picking them up. His father hadn’t been so excited to see his childhood friend returning to the states. Aradia, however, was reluctant. Even in the car she begged him to call his boyfriend, to warn them of… Something. No one knew what. Until Dad spotted the car coming up the highway exit ramp. Swerving, playing loud-as-fuck music… It was heading straight for the Vantas’ bright-red minivan. 

He couldn’t do jack shit to prevent the crash. 

Dad tried desperately to avoid the remnants of their cars; he took a sharp turn into the divider and damn near flipped the car over. AA’s screams still haunt his nightmares, just like the sight of his beloved’s dad, smiling and handing out souvenirs just an hour and a half ago. Just like KK’s voice ringing in his ears before they left, telling Sollux to stop being so damn clingy. Saying they’d have plenty of time to spend together when they were home. 

It took a year and a half for him to make it there. 

Since starting college they had lived together. Now Sollux came home to an unconscious body and the lively douchebag his brother hired to care for him. Stupid hipster would visit every now and again, feed Karkat through a tube, pump medication into him, and clean the area around his room a bit. He and Eridan didn’t always have a problem with each other, but somehow every heated discussion came back to the comatose Korean boy he made a living off of caring for. Every heated discussion ended with Sollux flipping him off and crying next to Karkat’s unmoving form, desperate holding his hand and weeping with some hope that Karkat would just open his eyes, speak his name again, make everything better. 

And it never happened. 

\- - - 

It’s been two years. Sollux started to give up hope. 

KK wasn’t the only one injured in the crash, you all were a little broken. AA just seemed to stop smiling all together, something in her mind triggering some constant apathetic state. AA wasn’t AA anymore, and all Sollux could do was watch through the only good eye he had left. 

Terrifying story really, the glass shard that completely ruined his left cornea, and left a huge scar down his eye. Eridan would joke and say he looks like a pirate. And sometimes Sollux would joke back. For Halloween he dressed up as a pirate with double blindfolds. Red and blue ones, naturally. Eridan hadn’t come over, but he had a good laugh at the picture, from what Sollux had heard. 

Who knows, maybe they were sort of like friends, in a way. At least when it came to recovery, and to Karkat. Heh, funny story, actually, on Halloween Karkat had one of those weird moments where his eyes would open. Sollux hadn’t seen those silvery eyes is in a long time. 

Just one more reason to keep hoping for the future. 

Kankri was over quite a bit. To visit Karkat, and the bring over medication and food just in case Sollux needed it. He’d kind of grown secluded since the accident. No matter how much that boyfriend of his would try, Kankri must have felt so alone in the world. And Sollux understood why, his little brother was comatose, his father died in the ambulance, and the rest of his family were overseas, where he wanted to move if only for the fact of Karkat being unable to leave the apartment. 

He did the next best thing, getting a job at a local mental institute, getting treated for the PTSD he suffered from, and helping out Sollux’s autistic brother as often as he could was a kind gesture, too. 

He went back to his faith. He prayed for days on end that Karkat would wake up. He still hasn’t. 

Sollux was… Alright. 

Even half blinded, he kept going with his degree. Majoring in information tec, minoring in engineering. He was well on his way to a great career at Microsoft, too. Hell he lived just down the street, and he could easily come home if need be. The internship would be starting soon, and Sollux was going to fuck shit up so hardcore they’d be BEGGING to hire him for the rest of their lives. 

Or maybe they’d just dump his ass on the ground after his mental instability finally caught up with him. PTSD, a major developing bipolar disorder, depression. And eventually a bit of a drinking problem, too. The mead was calling to him though, and he answered that call with gusto. Mucho gusto. 

He was drunk when he first noticed it, too. Karkat’s heart rate was a little higher than normal. When he sat down and turned the TV it seemed to slow, and something in that muted beeping called out to the man. He wasn’t one for them, but a romantic comedy film was playing. KK’s favorite, Hitch. He situated himself in front of the TV and held his boyfriend’s…

Were they still together? Sollux didn’t know. He… He kind of took out his aggression once or twice on Eridan, and somehow they had started talking about some half-hearted side-relationship. Just to ease the loneliness, of course. Eridan wasn’t some desperate fool like he made himself out to be, but somehow your fights and friendly interaction had really turned… Oddly non-platonic. It was tough to bear, but some fucked-up feeling deep down in his gut told him that maybe it would be okay.  
Anyway. He held his boyfriend’s hand as that stupid as fuck movie played, and right near the end (where Sollux explicitly remembered Karkat would cry at) his heartrate spiked. Sollux, naturally, freaked out, and pulled some—drunken—emergency therapy until he calmed. 

He told Eridan the next day and the asshole damn near cried. Sollux was hungover and he didn’t understand what it meant at all. 

“Sol. Let’s go out for a bit. I know-w you’re hung ower an shit. But let’s go to a café or somethin’!” Excited, much? Sollux wasn’t exactly in the mood to go eat, and while Eridan had taken him to the outer world more and more lately, this just seemed out of the ordinary. Still, he agreed, and went to get dressed. 

At the stupid as fuck café, they’d talk about music, and movies, and some really good fashion gossip Eridan would constantly go on and on about. It was starting to have an effect of Eridan, too. Kanaya—Karkat’s distant cousin across the seas—sent him a lot of clothes to try out. It was mostly to help her during her college career in France, but she’d begun her own line of clothing. You would be the one to wear it all, when you actually found it in you to wear outside clothes. 

So surprisingly, he’d be seen outside his cave with skinny jeans, most of the time with dual-colored pant legs, some in-style sweater or silk shirt, even a scarf if he really felt the need to. 

Eridan didn’t always wear his scrubs to check up on Karkat, so he’d wear some stupid purple-themed pinstripe skinny-jean long sleeve sweater and scarf combo. Eridan had quite a few piercings, including one on his tongue, and a simple nautical-themed tattoo along his shoulder. The man was a fairly good swimmer, and he even had the hair for it, too. Sollux, however, was tall and lanky, and had obnoxiously frizzy blonde hair. His glass eye was a different color, and he hid that unnatural dichromatic orbs behind his signature red and blue glasses. 

Lately red and yellow have taken over his style, and he had no explanation for that, really. It was just something he enjoyed.  
Shitty waffles, and four cups of coffee later, Eridan paid for the meal, for some reason. He could just as easily get the check, or use Sollux money (which he did often) but instead, he paid. “What’s the occasion?” he inquired, grabbing their jackets as they prepared to leave. Maybe for home, maybe for the store? Who knew. 

“W-well. Kar’s been showin’ some really encouragin’ signs an all. So I guess the occasion is celebratin’?”

Encouraging signs? 

He read your confusion like a pamphlet on the use of the question mark. “That heart rate spike. I’m hopin’ that means he’ll be wakin’ up soon, don’t you? Typically the first signs are pretty faint, but that just spoke to me as some ‘hey asshole, guess who’s back’ kinda readin’ yo—mmph!” 

He really didn’t mean to kiss him. He couldn’t help it, he had almost given up hope. 

Karkat’s waking up.


	2. The days he almost gave up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I held both their hands. One each to cling to, that scarf brushing against the knuckles of my right, and that same unmoving one to my left. Ambidextrous and confused, I held them both, as if clinging to a future no one knew of. 
> 
> I felt a pulse through my left, and I almost missed it through the warmth and comfort of my right.

Maybe he was just getting ahead of himself. After their little celebration outing, which was fairly awkward with that minute liplock Sollux started, they went home, like usual, to Karkat showing normal signs.

Normal means he'd still be comatose.

He had a few hours of discouragement, before Eridan packed things up and left quietly. There were still the signs. He couldn't lose hope now, not when he finally had some good news to tell Kankri. Hell he would have called, but his neighbor came by to check on the two. Right, his neighbor. That strange old man who always seemed to know when times were their worst. The strange old man who stopped him from swallowing seventeen sleeping pills in his drunken state last year. Who got him to remember just who he'd be leaving behind if he had done so.

Sollux never told Eridan about that. It was a secret between the old man and him, and Karkat.

The old man stopped by with cake, and a calming conversation over tea. When he left Sollux just sat there by his best friend. His boyfriend. Talking.

His thoughts went back to Eridan. Even as his long fingers ran through those rabbit-soft locks he thought of Eridan's soft lips. They tasted like jasmine tea, the kind they drank at the café. Was he discouraged by his own hasty actions? Was he embarrassed?

Maybe he was just ashamed.

Before bed, he leaned over, kissing those unmoving lips like he used to. Karkat's breath didn't hitch, or change patterns, or anything. He didn't do a single thing anymore, and the blonde was completely alone in the world yet again.

He slept very little that day, a depressive spike hitting him hard.

Two years and seven months since he last saw Karkat smile and he still couldn't find it in him to move on. The body in the spare room still had frequent visitors, including the daily annoyance from his caretaker. The shitty apartment did actually seem livable, after Eridan got it in his mind to better Captor's attitude. Eridan made him clean up the place, get rid of most of the alcohol, and keep up with his medication.

It was a few days after that kiss that Eridan asked you out on a real (semi-real) date. Still trying to keep things safe with the sleeping boyfriend, he accepted. Thus beginning this train-wreck of an affair with Eridan Percival Ampora, and jeez if that wasn't a rocky begining. They almost got in a wreck on their way to the nice restaurant he had picked out. His cousin of sorts, stayed behind to watch Karkat due to Sollux's constant worrying, so at the very least they'd know if it wasn't meant to be.

Naturally Karkat hadn't woken up.

Feferi Piexes. She's such a nice girl, if that was anything to go by. Eridan introduced her on one of his early trips, and the girl clung to her cousin's side while he cared for Karkat. It annoyed Ampora to no end, and actually managed to wrestle a smile out of the programmer. Ever since they've spent a few times chatting it up online, since she's constantly busy with work and college.

Feferi's beautiful, too. Ever interested in the sea, Sollux had to stand the fish puns for way too long. Fish puns, trips to the aquariums nearby, sushi-bar trips he'd turned down after a bad wasabi incident… A few months ago he introduced FF to his cousin, and apparently, they're already getting along fairly well. Sollux seriously suspected some relationship starting to form, she's the only one who's been able to draw such a pure smile from AA's stoic lips.

It's like Feferi was pumping the life back into her.

As for him and Ampora, well… With about seven months together, they'd become fairly stable relationship wise. A few horrible fits here and there, some really bad attempts at apologies. More nights together than Sol would like to admit.

Things were betta.

… Better. Fucking hell.

Oh yeah! So Sollux got the job. The job at Microsoft? Yeah, that was doing really well. He's thinking about moving everyone out. (Everyone including Ampora, since he had kind of started living at his tiny apartment for a month or so.) He had a nice place picked, even closer to the main building he'd be working at.

A beautiful, big flat in Redmond. With enough rooms for everyone to live comfortably, and to have a room set up for Karkat specifically. Maybe it was intentional that Sollux kept his room the farthest away. No matter how many lies he told, he'd never once be able to let go of that angry, shouty little Korean boy.

Karkat had grown since then. Not a whole lot, but he at least looked 24. Chocolate brown hair, a little overgrown streamed down his still young-looking face. He almost certainly felt an empty jealousy from his not-boyfriend Eridan whenever he'd stare. Sollux kept him warm, dressed in a simple sweater. He gave him some specialty boxers that allowed certain… attachments. During the winter he keeps the heater up high.

They'd been moving things into the new flat by then. The last thing to move was Karkat.

The last night he'd spent in that shitty apartment was spent moaning into his mattress. Face down, moaning out a name he still hated calling, letting him fill Sollux whole again, breaking him down to a pleasure he tried so hard not to dwell too much on. He was with Eridan, he was bent over for Eridan. In a sense, he was Eridan's. But the call of truth would catch right back up if they thought too much on it.

He was but he wasn't. Eridan had a certain part of Sollux, but he didn't have it all. And they both knew it. Shaken down to the core, fucked within an inch of completion, Those two letters were what Sollux called out desperately.

Whenever they'd do this they'd both spend hours in silence afterwards, trying to forget. Eventually, Sollux got back up. He was worried about that same man he called out too before. He left Eridan to sleep in comfort, only offering a simple, "Thank you." In the air. Nothing else. No proclamation of love, or any feelings, really. Just appreciation and an empty bed.

Sollux barely ever paid attention, but he could tell it hurt Eridan. He didn't know how else to help make it better, besides the occasional affection he did show.

Two weeks passed, and after moving everything over, and getting adjusted to life, Sollux woke up to something terrifying.

Karkat's grip.

He'd spent the night in the room, after yet another shameful release of his tension (A.K.A. sex) and held Karkat's hand when he awoke, sleeping against his bed like he used to in the past few years. Karkat actually squeezed his hand back. He froze at first, but after squeezing few more times, Karkat kept responding.

"… Karkat?"

 

Sollux damn near scared the shit out of Eridan, calling him into the room. He just woke up, what could that fucking prick want now? The garbled calls sounded suspiciously like his patient's name, and with a groan Eridan arose from his cold, empty bed. Sollux seemed more than overjoyed, petting his boyfriend's soft hair, holding his hand tightly. He hadn't even touched him since the move, what the fuck was up now?

"W-what?"

"H-he squeezed back! He squeezed back Eri!" God, he'd damn near cryin. What a fucking pathetic—He squeezed back? Eridan checked his heart monitor, catching a slowly increasing number. His chest even seemed to be rising more than before.

Eridan was at a loss for words. Eventually Sollux pulled him over to feel the weak grip himself, and a smile graced his normally belligerent face. "Holy fuck, Sol!" He reached over, moving some hair away. Maybe it was his cold hands, but Karkat murmured something. He was reacting to the stimuli much more than he ever had in the past—fuck, has it already been two and a half years? Damn! "Go get the phone, Sol."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /SHIFTY EYES
> 
> omfg this was was a freaking one-shot before, and now I want to keep writing for it.
> 
> ALSO really sorry if this one is a bit all over the place. u.u


	3. The day he awoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think that, maybe in the lost warmth of those happy days, I grew bitter. Bitter and cold, and horrid. He wasn't the only one asleep, and the moment I heard his voice, I awoke as well. The cold hand holding my broken heart was gone. And in it's place that which I had thought-- my happiness of the past-- was back to greet me. 
> 
> I forgot how warm that hand was. It was frightening how quickly I'd returned. I don't even think I heard a voice, just a doomed hope in my heart, flickering back to life.

Karkat's symptoms have only become more cognizant. It's a good sign, and after moving him back to the closest hospital bed they could find, everyone hoping on a prayer that he'll finally open his eyes of his own will. His heart's beating at a normal rate, he still responds to people squeezing his hand, and he even shed a tear or two with the move, with activity reminding his body to start up once again.

Kankri was still chattering like no tomorrow, even though everyone was waiting for the newest test result. He'd been severely distressed by his brother's condition in the last few years. According to Cronus, he's been talking less and less, and his days of week-long sermons (or the like) seemed to be over. Cronus was fairly happy over there in the corner, watching his boyfriend light up at even the simplest heartbeat.

… Where was Eridan?

Shit he hadn't even noticed him, hasn't he? Well now he just feel like shi—oh hey, the doctor's back with the pre-lim test results. Eridan can wait.

\- - -

 

He was such a coward.

Sol's this close to having his love back, and all Eridan could think about was the jealousy. His jealousy. It wasn't fair, really. Sure, he'd agreed for this relationship to be short-lived, and every time Sol left him to sleep alone with only a simple 'Thanks' it hurt like hell. He'd agreed to that, he'd agreed to never being number one in the book of Sollux Captor's heart...

He thought of himself as second. Somehow he thought that meant something more, considering Sol. It isn't.

So instead Eridan left the rest of the work to a close buddy and left for the nearest coffee shop to mull about everything on his own damn time. He could do that, right?

Right?

As he left, he passed by Dr. Scratch. Guy's a pretty good boss; he congratulated Eridan for taking such excellent care of Karkat, and said something about the signs pointing to not having to care for him for long. Or something. Obviously Karkat was waking up. He'd no longer have a reason to stay in THEIR flat. That hurt him even more. He just wanted to cry, but he drowned his misery in coffee instead. Stuck in the back of the café, still mulling and staring at his phone, at the pictures he'd accumulate of his sort-of boyfriend.

Didn't think he'd get a text, but half an hour later that familiar three-toned beep rang.

where are you erii?

Eri. Eri, really? Sol'd fallen back on that simple name so many times. It was comforting at best before. Now… He didn't quite know how to respond to it. Sol was with Karkat right now, why was he even taking the few seconds to text him? To worry about him? Oh fuck, now there's another text? Fuck, and now there's one from Cronus, that bastard.

Eh there, slick. you gonna be coming ovwer to see your patient wvaking up or wvhat

Simple and sweet. At least there's one thing Vantas had managed to get through with him. Still it doesn't matter much, Eridan wasn't going to respond. Hell he should just go back home and not bother them at all. Home aside from the flat, aside from Washington.

He wanted to just go back to Canada, damnit. Anywhere away from Sollux.

"Erifin?" That cheery voice wasn't what he wanted to hear either. Curly hair falling around his cousin's slender shoulders, perfectly shining eyes looking worried. "I thought you were at the hospital with Sea-lux and Crab-kat." She'd heard about it too? Well, okay maybe Cronus told her about it. Or Ara? Who knows, or cares. She has a new necklace, a choker made with maroon lace. Maroon was Megido's thing, mostly.

Knew they were together.

"I'm not in the mood Fef. Can you giwe me some time alone?" She pouted, sitting down. "Fef, plea—"

"Is this about Sollux?" She asked, crossing her arms. The table was silent for at least a few minutes before Eridan cleared his throat, preparing a good response in his head. "Eridan, I know you love him, but—"

"I do NOT!" Well there goes that attempt. Feferi barely flinched, crossing her arms. "I—look. No matter HOW I feel about that fucker I can't do fuckin' anythin' about it!" Don't cry. Don't cry, he kept telling himself. Kinda impossible to not get even a little emotional. Feferi always had that ability to break him down. To see past the front he always held strong.

Wish he had a name for how he felt about his cous' without it being so goddamn awkward.

"Eridan… I'm sorry, but just take their situation in mind, you know. Crab-catch would be all alone if Sol stayed with you after this!" Thanks, Fef. It's not like I won't be either. "I know how you feel, I reel-y do!" No you don't. Stop using those shitty fish puns. "Eri I love you, but Sollux needs this, too. He needs Karkat." I need him too…

As useless as this conversation was, Feferi stopped when the tears started. She went dead silent, just pulling him to her chest for a heartfelt hug, something he desperately needed from the get-go. No rants about how the guy he'd kinda fallen in love with is no doubt going to dump his ass and go back to his post-comatose boyfriend. No accusations that he's just being selfish and needs to think of them, none of that.

Just a hug. Just some comfort. That's all you need.

 

\- - -

 

"Alright, medication's being whittled down as we speak. Judging by his testing, Karkat's condition should be fairly nominal for now." It was nice having Cronus there to actually pay attention. Kankri was too excited to see him brother once again, and Sollux was too keyed into his brother's heartbeat, warmth, and those glazed-over eyes. Everything.

Karkat was awake… in a sense. He'd have a lot to do before being considered fully awake. Tests and scans and exams later, Dr. what's-his-name was fairly certain of a near-full recovery in the midst. A few days and maybe Karkat would be active again. Maybe Sollux would be able to take him home for real this time.

Waiting for them to finish with secondary MRI was difficult; Eridan was still nowhere to be found. "Any word, Ampora?"

"Not a one. Ain't ev-wen getting a response from Feffie." Kankri had finally settled down, resting in his boyfriend's lap, satisfied t all the progress today. When Cronus shifted, his boyfriend pouted and curled back up against his neck. Sollux hadn't noticed how much Kankri had changed, either. His black hair meshed well with that light-blonde, over-styled mop, his height hadn't changed at all, but at the very least he seemed more relaxed, and open.

Reminded him so much of their father. Kankri looked a lot like Carmine, really. Same facial structures, nearly the same hair type, even the same eyes. He spent most of the time until Karkat was back wondering how his dad was doing. Haven't spoken to him in a year or so.

Eridan hasn't even so much as texted him back. Fucking hell with as punctual as a guy he is Sollux had at least expected a simple response. But no! No he was out somewhere doing fuck-all and not staying by to make sure KK's alright and that he'll be able to come home soon. At least, that's what the doctors predicted.

A near-full recovery was so rare in comatose patients. It's not always like the movies, patients don't wake up and immediately break into song or something stupid like that, many cases that go on for this long don't even wake up. KK had been lucky to not end up brain-dead in the last while, and hopefully he shouldn't become a vegetable, either. From what the nurse mentioned, the worst case is a return to his coma, and even that's a tiny chance. And amnesia, if he does stay awake.

… Amnesia…

Was Karkat going to remember him after this…? Oh GOD he didn't even THINK about that before!

The next day or so was hell. Well, maybe more like purgatory. Some parts were fucking amazing, while others were so unbearably terrible that he couldn't stand it. Eridan didn't come home at all, and having to leave KK at the hospital wasn't a good idea either. Instead of heading right back, Sollux walked to his old apartment, to visit the old man who'd saved him again.

They spent a few hours, just talking. Sollux took the old man shopping and helped him stock his apartment with food again, and Sollux had a few moments of relaxation. He'd been active all day, really. And the old man even gave him a ride to the hospital to visit Karkat after they brought in his food.

Clyde was his name.

\- - -

Right. KK used to joke about the man having two heads or something. Called him a Cyclops with two heads when he was drunk once. Bicyclops? Ehh whatever. Clyde dropped him off by the entrance, saying he was a little too tired to come in, and there he was, walking right back up to room 413. Kankri was back today as well, but no sign on Cronus.

Karkat's secondary test results were just repeats of what they already knew. Reassurance of his recovery. He didn't say much or even try to, but when Sollux held his hand he looked right at him, past his wicked tinted frames, just barely focused enough to appear alive. He wasn't a doll anymore, and he wasn't sleeping.

"Hey KK."

There wasn't much else to say, really. Karkat didn't respond back, but he twitched and tried lifting his arm. Kankri was shocked even though he had tried earlier from what he had said. Karkat was reaching out for something, namely Sollux, and it was way more than the man could take. Sollux spent the rest of the short hour he had available holding his hand and watching his reactions, hope reinvigorated, he was happier than ever.

He didn't even think about Eridan that day.


	4. The day he sang

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I definitely heard his voice this time. So clear and perfect. Un-touched by time. I couldn't believe my ears, it was so beautiful. 
> 
> But when I felt happy, I tried to turn back, to smile at something I couldn't recall all ofa sudden. Something in me felt empty, and I tried to cry without realizing what. The angel sang to me, and regardless of how I'd tried to look back to that emptiness, I couldn't turn away from what brought the smile back to my face. 
> 
> That empty had--has-- a name. It's almost as beautiful as my angel's.

"Ooh! Look at the dolphins, Fef!"

They were lucky today; all of the aquariums exhibits fell on good times today. It was just him and Fef, walking along to the next building of the largest aquarium in the US.

Feferi said she was taking him to some place fun. She was dead serious; he'd been dragged back to his flat, told to pack up a bag for three days, and left to his own devices for the half hour it took to reserve tickets and a hotel room. They'd spent the first day in California to relax, talk things out, and went shopping for some souvenirs. You got a little something for Sol, but it's up to debate whether or not he'd give it to him. The next day they'd stared on the aquarium trip.

Today was the last day for their aquarium adventure. Feferi, being the daughter of a wealthy family and all, made it a tradition to visit any kind of aquarium during times off, most of the time dragging her family along, too. When others were around, things were casual, very friendly, and typically the trips were short. But it was completely different when she'd just take Eridan. They'd at least go somewhere out of state, and split up the aquariums to completely experience for a few days, if they were lucky.

Seeing all the sights, watching the sea life through a clean window, they both lived for these trips. The last time they went was a year ago, and they spent an entire week in Australia. Sol definitely wasn't pleased at Eridan's week-long vacation from caring for Kar, but fuck him, he needed that special time with her.

Feferi is just the type of girl to deliver when her friends need it; she's always trying to help put a smile on everyone's faces. There's most definitely a lot of arguing and bickering involved, but in the end it came down to this. A slice of perfection, really.

This trip was the Monterey Bay Aquarium, one of the largest in the world apparently. Australia was obviously the largest, or so they'd heard at least.

Eridan even ditched his signature scarf to enjoy the day, walking around in short and flip-flops, to accommodate Feferi's sun dress. They covered nearly half of the aquarium now, no pictures, just experiences. (Taking the trip for pictures just ruined the experience. It's best to view the sea life from your eyes, not a camera lens.)

Finally, their first day was coming to a close. They both needed the rest, and surprisingly, that particular hall was free of little kids for once.

That familiar three-tones beeping went ignored for long enough. Sollux was going to run this month's minutes dry with all of these texts. Feferi scolded him before for checking the phone all the time. This was her time with Eridan, not his. It was a good ploy, planning this trip to get his mind off of Sollux. He gave her a questioning glance, but Feferi was tired of the ring tone as well, she let him at least read the text.

plea2e come home 2oon erii

Worry and curiosity flashed through his thoughts at the same time. How was Karkat? Feferi looked over you to the text, and gave a sigh. "Call him, Eridan."

Call him? Call the guy who's tearing you apart? The guy this whole trip was running away from?

Shit, fine.

\- - -

"While Karkat is suffering from mild brain-damage due to the crash, his reactions towards familiarity have been exceedingly encouraging. I'm astounded at his progress, he's begun to breathe and digest food on his own, he's responding to certain stimulus at a normal pace, and we've been lucky to declare him fully out of his comatose state. His father would be so relieved were he still here to see him."

Doctors have this magical way of suddenly having everything make sense. Even as Karkat stared blankly at them, the doctors were saying he was awake finally. Of course Sollux was relieved, of course he was happy. Of course he was really fucking worried about Eridan.

He's been gone for so long, and Sollux couldn't help but worry about him. He's sent a multitude of texts to the man, called his brother and cousin, called him a few times, but nothing was working. The most that's resulted is a vague "don't worry" message from Cronus, but other than that, nothing. It's already been two days since he disappeared.

He was even fiddling with his messages while Doctor Scratch was explaining the symptoms they'd seen resulting recently in Karkat, but nothing's really getting through.

That's when familiar terms like "Memory loss", "debilitation", and "sustained delirium" pop up. It's only been a few days since he opened his eyes, why do they feel the need to slap more diagnosis on him, to try and treat it as some major name instead of the symptoms they'd already found. He'd question them, but the mention of Alzheimer's and Dementia get thrown around as possible results.

Sollux almost passed out.

The room was silent as Doctor Scratch left the room for a little while. It took a few moments of silence before Kankri broke down in his boyfriend's arms. Karkat barely even responded. Sollux wasn't even thinking when he sent that desperate text to Eridan. He needed him right now.

He jumped out of his skin when the phone rang, Eridan was calling back finally?

Sollux got up to answer the phone, and almost reached the door before the weak voice made him pause.

"So…llux?"

\- - - 

"… He ignored me."

"Maybe something came up?" Feferi sounded hopeful, looping her arms around her cousin as they stared at the phone. Given the circumstances he had to remember that Kar was recovering from a coma. Still he could say so and not just immediately ignore his call. Eridan was… He was really worried. While the jealous side of him would occasionally mumble horrible things in his ear, horrible encouragements, he didn't listen.

Karkat Vantas is his patient. And the love of his love. He would care for him no matter what.

"Call back in a few hours, okay? Promise me you won't let this ruin the rest of our trip, Erifin." Feferi was such a harsh girl sometimes. And while Sollux was worrying him, Eridan promised her. It'd be hard to keep that promise. They'd finished up at the aquarium, stopped at the gift shop, and got dinner, and it still never left Eridan's mind. He faked a smile for his cousin, and carried his cousin up to her room after she fell asleep in the taxi.

He'd call Sollux tomorrow, he's too exhausted right now.

Sollux was allowed to stay an extra hour after visiting time, and he'd spent the remainder of his time talking with Karkat.

Okay, not really talking with him.

Karkat's in a delirious state still, and he will be for at least a few weeks, but at the very least he'd starting giving even better reactions since uttering his boyfriend's name. Glaring at his now-broken phone, Sollux cursed his shocked reactions now. Karkat speaking again hit him to the very core; he couldn't believe he'd even said anything.

So he dropped his phone. Now it won't turn back on. Eridan called him and now he'd have to borrow someone else's phone to call him back. Cronus left with Kankri before Sollux even thought to leave Karkat's company, and now it was dark out, so he didn't even bother. Maybe he'd be at home? Psh, that's hopeful thinking if anything.

Fuck, Eri's gonna be pissed. Sollux gave a sigh, grabbing some leftover pizza before retreating to his computer. The doctors were delighted to see Karkat talking again, though. Sure, KK barely said anything, but it was a god sign anyway. It's going to be difficult to diagnose him.

Names, a simple phrase or two, that's about it. Still, after giving him some water, Karkat spoke clearer than he has in nearly three years. That was more than enough to bring happy tears to his face. More than enough. He was pale, obviously, and weak from the lack of exorcise. Karkat still gets nutrients from a tube, but they're gonna start him on liquids soon. The breathing apparatus he'd been fixed with was still in, as a precautionary measure. He twitches and reaches for people, they mentioned eventually getting him back on his feet and his feet twitched. (maybe he was trying to wriggle his foot? That's so cute.) He's got a long way to go, still, and Sollux is going to be there for him every step of the way.

Sollux slept in comfort that night, after submitting a few documents he still needed to turn in for work. His co-workers, even his boss, were very understanding of his situation. Sollux isn't expected to show up at work for the week, but his deadlines are still in effect, and he'd been working on them every chance that he got.

He just really needed some sleep now.

\- - -

In the morning he'd just slept past ten, something warm curled up against his back. He freaked out for a short time, looking back only to find that same messy purple highlight he was used to sleeping beside. And he spent several minutes just trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. His flatmate was still curled up against is back, like usual.

… Please don't say that Karkat waking up was a dream.

He tried getting up, slipping out of bed, but an arm clinging to his waist kept him there. A slightly tanned arm. A tan. On pastey mc-whitey douche? "Eridan." He shook his shoulder, earning a whine in response, and a clingy douche trying to worm his way into his lap. Sollux tried again a few times before the asshole finally opened his eyes. Eridan looked sleep-deprived, glaring up at him. "What?" He sounded exhausted, too.

Which didn't help Sollux's previous stress at all.

"Where have you been?" Sollux pulled him up awkwardly seating him on his lap. Eridan, however, took it as a green light to curl into his arms and get all nice and comfy. "Eridan. What the fuck happened to you?"

"Mmm… Went ta Cali with Fef."

"... What?" Eridan didn't give an immediate answer, it took a few ear pulls for him to even consider doing anything but go back to sleep.

"I went to California with Fef." And that was about all he'd get out of him. Sollux complained about having to put in his glass eye and Eridan let him go, as long as he swore to come back and keep the bed warm. Sollux would have, he really would. Not because he owed it to himself to show some affection back to the guy who'd kept his hope alive. Not just because they were fucking while Karkat was still in a coma. But because… Yeah he honestly did kind of like this little bitch he'd found crawling into his life.

Karkat's not in his room and Sollux calls the hospital to check in on him today. He's sleeping, and they've taken off the breather apparatus to test his reaction to breathing on his own. From what the nurse is saying things look pretty good so far.

He'd call him later, Kankri wanted some personal time with his brother today. Besides, there's still work to get done. And a long, long discussion ahead, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two were both on FF net for a while, so here, have these finally. I've got another fic I'm posting, too. One a little happier than this. So, yeah, look forward to that!
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and comments and stuff. I love you guys, seriously @.@


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